100 Days

100 days ago I gave birth. it was the most incredible night of my life. Although the night is now a bit hazy, I still remember very clearly the fear that set in with my first contraction. I want to hold onto the memory of the sudden trepidation. Because it reminds me how the night began with me and ended with her. The night began with me fearing for myself, fearing the pain that I was about to encounter, and I was on my knees crying, "God, help me get through this..." It ended with me realizing that it was not about me but rather, when I looked at my daughter, I realized that it was her journey. She had made a miraculous journey into the world. I look at her now and I can't believe how far our relationship has come from the utero to her lying in my arms. " Oh my God." This was the only thing I could say when my midwife placed her on my stomach. Many say that God cares more about the process than the end result...

Giving birth is a painful experience, just as the crucifixion was a painful experience for God. It seems that that which is difficult for us, helps us to not take for granted the result of our work. All I know is that the fear that initiated the entire experience of labour and delivery helped me to see how perfect Love drives out fear, by replacing the fear (of pain, of death, of sorrow, of the unknown) with someone so beautiful.

catching up with Uncle Noah

happy 100 days!